View Full Version : A duck walks into a bar...

07-31-2009, 09:52 AM
...and orders a beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!"
"Your eyes work", replies the duck, wryly.

"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"And your ears", says the duck,
"Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?".

"Certainly", says the bartender, "sorry about that... it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.

The bartender watches, astounded, as the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

The duck visits regularly for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The owner of the circus comes into the bar and the bartender says to him,
"You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus - he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

"Sounds marvelous", says the owner, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the bar the bartender says,
"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".

"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus", says the bartender.

"The circus?", the duck asks, a bit bemused.

"That's right", replies the bartender.

"What, the place with the big tent?. Big canvas roof, hole in the middle, loads of animals?", asks the duck.

"That's right!", says the bartender.

The duck looks confused. "Why would they want a plasterer?"

07-31-2009, 12:50 PM

07-31-2009, 03:47 PM
Two nuns are riding from the convent into town on their bicycles. One nun says, "Sister, I've never come this way before."

The other nun nods knowingly and says, "It's the cobblestones."

07-31-2009, 04:24 PM

Three blondes walk into a bar.

You'd think at least one of them would've seen it......