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View Full Version : Serious WTF things noobs say



Gas Man
04-05-2013, 07:18 AM
here's a classic example (I believe 100% fictional)


So.. I was thinking about buying the new ZX-14, cause I really like the green, and I'm kinda a bigger guy at 5'9" and about 180 lbs, if I wear a helmet... (I usually don't, head gets too hot in that thing!)
I was wondering, is this a good bike for me? I rode my buddies 80 around the lake cabin last summer a couple times and did pretty good. Only crashed into the shed twice.
Let me know what you think, I'm buying it tomorrow. Salesman said that I could get 1.9% interest if I signed up for their financing! that sounds great as the payments would only be like $49 a month!
That would give me tons of cash to pimp it out, maybe put some NOS on it or something, and really be able to pick up some ho's!

I'm kinda broke, so I think I'm going to try to scam by without insurance for awhile. Someone said it would be crazy expensive on that bike anyway, so not really worth it. Besides, it's not like I plan on wrecking it anyway.


We hear variations of this all the time.

I also heard this one time...


I have rode a buddies bike around the block a few times and totally scored a solid 28. Yeah that's 28 M P f'in H home boy! I've had four wheelers and snow sleds. I'll go out and buy a 35 large US dollar Big Cock Dog mother f'in chop dat bitches ass. It will be my first bike BUT I'm a bad mofo don't ya!

:lmao:

Seriously, what's your fav thing you hear noobs say?

bombdog
04-05-2013, 09:45 AM
"I am thinking of starting a MC dont worry I open carry"

Remo
04-05-2013, 10:58 AM
One of my favorites from the R1 forum:


well I just bought myself a 2003 R1 with 5,100 miles on it.

I live in Cleveland so I only got to ride it around the block on a decent day with no snow before I had to put it away. I cant wait to ride in the spring.... I have been riding for 1 year.. I had a 06 Katana 600 last year and that thing was way to slow!! It couldnt wheeli and could only top out at 135mph.. I got a sick deal on this R1 and I want to go fast and Wheelie....
anyone have any suggestions to what I should add to the bike... It already has slide framers and a Yosha pipe... Well cant wait to practice riding and have fun this summer hopefully I can get a few tips and go to some events and have some fun!! Feel free to leave me any tips on how to put a CDhttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.png (http://www.r1-forum.com/forums/showthread.php?t=250091&highlight=#) player on the bike or headlights, Crome, taillights , how to increase top speed, anything!!! lemme no thanks!!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE (same newb)

Hey I am only a second year rider this year is going to be first on R1 and would like to no what is the proper way to was my R1??? I heard that using the hose is not good and that drying it off with a leaf blower is KEY... can I get some input and ways/tips on how to clean my babay?!?!?! THANKS!!!

Gas Man
04-05-2013, 05:11 PM
Nice Remo!! :lol:

Bagger Dave
04-06-2013, 06:25 AM
"I am thinking of starting a MC dont worry I open carry"

:lmao::lmao:

Thruxtonbill
04-06-2013, 07:39 AM
:lmao:
"I am thinking of starting a MC dont worry I open carry"

Gas Man
04-06-2013, 08:51 AM
And yet no response from Dave on my second noob comment. :lol:

TopShelf Scott
04-06-2013, 10:32 AM
"I am thinking of starting a MC dont worry I open carry"

Ohhhh snap!!!!:lmao:

Bagger Dave
04-06-2013, 07:59 PM
And yet no response from Dave on my second noob comment. :lol:

Yeah...I got that one :lmao::rofl:
I was kinda going throught the threads before I went to work this morning....just now seen it! :lol:

Gas Man
04-06-2013, 08:57 PM
:lmao: Got you!

WILEY
04-07-2013, 10:41 AM
"hey f++k you guys. I will ride when I want where I want and wearing what I want its a free country" followed shortly by. "ow, ow, NO NO NO please No OH GOD NO. Please stop OH GOD NO"

bombdog
04-08-2013, 01:47 PM
"So I was watching a SOA marathon................"

Mudpuppy
04-08-2013, 02:41 PM
cheap bikes on craigslist all start here

junkyardjon
04-12-2013, 05:52 AM
cheap bikes on craigslist all start here
but it's true

Remo
04-12-2013, 10:30 AM
cheap bikes on craigslist all start here

That were "driveway dropped" or have "custom paint"

Nobody
04-12-2013, 11:32 PM
"I've been riding for years, I don't need a license..."

Gas Man
04-12-2013, 11:54 PM
Good one!


What about... "I grew up on dirt bikes, it's the same!"

RedneckMedic
04-13-2013, 07:34 AM
Or im thinking about getting a bike i want a crotch rocket not a harley ill get a harley when i get older. Then the next thing they say is i want to ride down to florida when i get it.

WILEY
04-13-2013, 08:48 AM
counter steering what's that?

WILEY
04-13-2013, 08:49 AM
I don't use the front brake, don't wanna flip the bike

WILEY
04-13-2013, 08:50 AM
Or my all time favorite..........I don't like riding on curvy roads, but I am good on straightaways

Gas Man
04-13-2013, 09:33 AM
:lmao:

Remo
04-13-2013, 11:47 AM
ill get a harley when i get older.

I say that all the time :aide:

:lmao:

leebo
04-13-2013, 03:53 PM
or my all time favorite..........i don't like riding on curvy roads, but i am good on straightaways ha!ha!ha!

Mudpuppy
04-17-2013, 10:36 AM
Or my all time favorite..........I don't like riding on curvy roads, but I am good on straightaways

lol.. a favorite past time of ours would be to meet up with people at bike nights and they take a big game - especially royal oaksters. so then on a saturday we would take them out to WSL and watch them shit their pants.. weren't talking so big after that..

Mudpuppy
04-17-2013, 10:38 AM
"If you hit a pebble you are going down"

this goes for noobs and non-bikers.. I hear that shit all the time.. I am thinking shit man I hit a lot of shit at 160mph and I didn't go down.. It's usually when I am doing something stupid at 0-40mph when I drop the bike.. But it isn't even worth correcting them - it would be like trying to turn a lib into a republichrist. not happening. of course I could show them some video as evidence but they would still be like "you got lucky", etc.

Gas Man
04-17-2013, 07:18 PM
I love it when they say, "A rock or bump at that speed you'll go down."

RedneckMedic
04-17-2013, 09:43 PM
lol.. a favorite past time of ours would be to meet up with people at bike nights and they take a big game - especially royal oaksters. so then on a saturday we would take them out to WSL and watch them shit their pants.. weren't talking so big after that..

I would love to take a sport bike out on the WSL. Its awesome out that way but I can only go so fast on the glide. When I get done with school my next ride is most likely an R1 in team blue since its faster!

Gas Man
04-18-2013, 01:02 PM
I have been there more times than I can count. It's good fun. But I tell ya, and Mud can back me, the roads are crap compared to 2002-2006 era

Nobody
04-18-2013, 08:46 PM
"If you hit a pebble you are going down"

this goes for noobs and non-bikers.. I hear that shit all the time.. I am thinking shit man I hit a lot of shit at 160mph and I didn't go down.. It's usually when I am doing something stupid at 0-40mph when I drop the bike.. But it isn't even worth correcting them - it would be like trying to turn a lib into a republichrist. not happening. of course I could show them some video as evidence but they would still be like "you got lucky", etc.

As my grandpa from Missouri says "Don't teach a pig to whistle, you'll only get frustrated and the pig will get annoyed.." Tis partly why I don't bother trying to have a rational discussion with libtards or conservicunts.

Mudpuppy
04-22-2013, 09:10 AM
I would love to take a sport bike out on the WSL. Its awesome out that way but I can only go so fast on the glide. When I get done with school my next ride is most likely an R1 in team blue since its faster!

hell yes.. team blue is speed paint.. I like the way you think.. and when you get the R1 hit me up and we will go hit the WSL..

Gas Man
04-22-2013, 09:34 AM
Mud, we need to get a group ride to WSL.

Mudpuppy
04-22-2013, 03:41 PM
Mud, we need to get a group ride to WSL.

what the fuck are you doing today? let's go! lol.. god it is a beautiful riding day out there and I am missing it.

but yes I agree.

basement carpet is in. for all intents and purposes the basement is done. have some small items to do.

time to get the bike out - cockblocked this weekend because of baptisms and surprise partys so sucks.. I feel like a communist with progressive insurance - will not be able to parole my bike until may??!??!?! what the fuck. will be the latest start to the riding season EVER for me. may??!?!? i really can't believe it. and TWC is out for me until late June - coaching football on sundays - except mother's day and memorial day weekends.