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RedneckMedic
05-18-2010, 02:54 PM
now this did not happen to me it was just a post someone put up over at shadowriders.net and i found it way to funny not to share

I thought I would pass along an experience of mine to hopefully help others out.

I came home from work one day and proceeded to the can to take a leak. I stood in front of the toilet, unzipped and started the job. Now, just a quick not here, we have a cabinet above the toilet and it has a shelf on it, nothing unusual here, many homes do. Anyway, as I was standing there draining the weasel I noticed something new on the shelf. It was a rounded edge white box. About 10 inches tall, 4 inches wide. If was smooth other then an 'eye' and a flashing red light. What the hell? It kinda looked like a camera lens? I leaned in for a closer look. To my surprize, it made a noise..... Now, I will never do the noise justice, but if you say it aloud, it just may come across. It sort of went..... "Wheeeeee.....(pause) Phooooo."

That is when the pain hit. I was instantly blinded, pain searing through my eyes. I did what no one should ever do, I let go mid stream to grab my eyes to stop the pain. Even through the pain, I could hear the stream hitting the back of the toilet, could feel it splashing back against me, but the pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. I turned, screaming and instantly hit the edge of the sink. I spun around, the stream spraying the room like a childs sprinkler, and landed flat on my back, still clutching my eyes. There is now a fountain, shooting up and misting back down on me. But, at this point I don't care. My eyes feel like they are melting out of the sockets and running down my cheeks. Later, I would realize this was just the tears of a grown man, soaked in urine.

It was this sight that greeted my wife as she ran into the bathroom to see what the noise and screaming was about. Me, with my pants around my ankles, holding my eyes and screaming. The fountain slowing to a stop..... and inexplicably, the scent of Gardenias.



Yes folks, she had just bought one of those Glade motion activated air fresheners. It had just shot a load of Gardenia scented spray directly into both eyes. As I washed my eyes that were now swollen and bright red, my wife proceeded to clean the bathroom and move the damn torture device somewhere else. So, if you see one of these, don't lean in to see what the hell it is.....
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Frankenhippie
05-18-2010, 03:33 PM
Heard a story similar where a guy was taking a shower and saw the new shampoo or soap dispenser hanging from the showerhead and decided to press the button. Nothing happened. He pressed it again. Nothing happened again so he took a closer look at it. Just as he got level with the thing....

The scrubbing bubbles one step shower cleaner went off spraying him in the eyes and mouth (because of course he didn't have his mouth closed at the time either LOL) with whatever cleanser is in those things.

Everytime I saw a commercial on TV for that thing, I cracked up! LOL

telecast
05-18-2010, 04:13 PM
That's pretty funny.

Fortunately my wife never buys those things.

RoadZombie
05-18-2010, 04:21 PM
No wife, no problem. I have the spray can if it gets so bad that I can't stand my own stench. LoL

Mudpuppy
05-18-2010, 05:50 PM
Heard a story similar where a guy was taking a shower and saw the new shampoo or soap dispenser hanging from the showerhead and decided to press the button. Nothing happened. He pressed it again. Nothing happened again so he took a closer look at it. Just as he got level with the thing....

The scrubbing bubbles one step shower cleaner went off spraying him in the eyes and mouth (because of course he didn't have his mouth closed at the time either LOL) with whatever cleanser is in those things.

Everytime I saw a commercial on TV for that thing, I cracked up! LOL

Yeah my MIL bought one of those shower things and my FIL thought it was soap or something - he hits the button it starts flinging bathroom cleaner everywhere getting into his eyes, he starts thrashing around like a caged gorilla, rips it off the wall, smashes it and throws it in the trash.. he was a tad bit unhappy to say the least..